1. Insecure. Insanely.

2. Music is my life. Always has been always will be.

3. When I was a little girl I thought eating chocolate turned you black.

4. I’m ambidextrous. Meaning I can write with both hands, for those who are stupid.

5. I’m SARCASTIC. I’m never serious unless I say  I am.

6. I love notebooks and journals, and I write a lot.  But, for whatever reason, I don’t think I’ve ever filled up a notebook.  Instead, I have pieces of writing stuck all over the place on the first few pages of various books.

7. I read the Sunday secrets on PostSecret every week.  They inspire me.

8. its rly hard for me 2 hold a convo w/ some1 who tlks like there stoopid and cant seem 2 use proper grammer.

9. I’ve broken both elbows and both pinky toes, and a thumb.

10. All I want are piercings and tattoos. Give me a time machine and money peas.

11. Can’t say I’ve had anyone who’s truly been there for me and cared for me unconditionally.

12. My biggest regret is ever having regrets. Deep shit huh

13. I wish my phone rang more. I am in fact, extremely lonely. but I don’t do anything about it.

14. I cannot stand complaining or talking or venting about my pointless drama to anyone but I seem to post it all over facebook. Hypocrites ftw.

15. I’m awkward. This one shouldve been first.

I guarantee half of you will read this and take it either 1.) the wrong way or 2.) be extremely immature about it, call me a liar, etc. Frankly I don’t care.

I am honestly, the most insecure person I’ve ever known. I’m socially awkward, I’m a realist, and I’m a thinker. In other words, I’m really not like any of you.

You’re all ignorant.

People get this retarded mind-set that I should have alot of friends, because they find me attractive. And attractive people have friends, and don’t have any problems whatsoever. Anything they complain about is to get attention or to pity themselves. No. I’m going to say what I truly feel about myself and any other subject I blog about, because this is my personal blog. Not because I want attention or to pity myself.

I’m the weird quiet girl who won’t say anything unless you talk to me first. And if you do talk to me first, my response is short. Because I feel like anything I say is either stupid or embarrassing.

But everyone also has this retarded mind-set that I’m a bitch because I don’t talk. That instead of sitting there quietly thinking about what I should say, if anything, or about what you’re thinking of me… I’m over there thinking about how much better I am than you and how I don’t like you.

WRONG.

Why does it mean I think I’m better than you or that I don’t like you, because I’m quiet? And I have my reasons for the way I am, but that’s besides the point. Why can’t me being quiet mean that I’m insecure as hell and only want you to like me? So by doing that, I stay quiet instead of saying something I’ll regret or that nobody finds interesting?

If anyone around me were being really quiet, the FIRST thing I’d assume is that they’re extremely shy or exactly how I am. Not that they’re stuckup. I’m anything but self-centered and stuckup. I don’t think I’m better than anyone, honestly. I stay out of everyone’s way and I still get judged. I still don’t even get a fair chance.

I’d give anything to have a genuine, trustworthy friend I could tell all of this to, instead of a bunch of strangers.

If only you people knew. You blind, ignorant, close-minded fucking people.

I always wonder why birds choose to stay in the same place, when they can fly anywhere in the world.

And then I ask myself the same question.

realized somethin’ today.

it doesn’t matter how long something that bothers you has been going on, it doesn’t matter how anyone else feels about it either. they don’t feel what you’re feeling. it may be similar, it may not even be remotely close. regardless, what makes you feel the way you do, is based off of YOUR emotions, YOUR sensitivity, your strength, etc. nobody else’s.

I felt really creepy when I caught myself staring at you. you had no idea I was looking directly into your eyes and trying to pull out every negative or positive thing I could from you in a form of sincerity. i never really particularly cared for you, to be honest.

but today I realized it doesn’t even matter how bad someone pisses me off/upsets me. if you give me 5 minutes to really look at you, I can’t help but remember you’re only human and it’s nearly impossible for me not to believe you only had good intentions.

I’m weird. my mindset isn’t like everyone else’s.

it may not be the best example, but for instance if someone had a boyfriend. they happen to last 2 weeks, she’s upset. contrary to popular belief, that shit can be painful. the amount of time they were together doesn’t matter. if she loved him, she loved him. (i’m not talking about 13 year olds running around saying “I love you” to every other 7th grader, either.) but it has nothing to do with your opinion. aside from everything we’re sure of, we really just don’t know. we have NO idea what anyone’s going through. you may not give a shit, she may be devastated.

it’s hard to explain what i’m getting at.

this made no sense to anyone. I probably sound like an idiot and Ill probably end up deleting this. If anyone actually understands this, you should message me. yeah.

Day 1 - a recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1.) I’m ambedextrious, meaning I can write with both hands.

2.) My eyes change shades of blue.

3.) I’ve never eaten sushi.

4.) I love animals more than people. Animals kill to defend themselves, to eat, or because they feel threatened. People kill for pleasure and thrill and to cause pain.

5.) I love when people come to me for advice or help. I love listening to others, and find it so flattering when people trust me enough to tell me things, let alone seek out my advice.

6.) I cut and dye my own hair.

7.) I hate being left alone, unless I ask for it.

8.) I get sad easily.

9.) I get happy easily.

10.) I observe. I notice all the small things, I wish I didnt.

11.) I have the best memorization. Ask anyone that knows me, I remember everything.

12.) If I don’t reply to your text, it’s more than likely a test to see if you care enough to text me again. Which is dumb, I know. It’s a comfort thing.

13.) High pain tolerance.

14.) I’m full of insecurities.

15.) Music is my life.